


Drowning In Light

by tixing, withxiulay



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-15
Updated: 2016-11-15
Packaged: 2018-08-31 04:17:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8563723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tixing/pseuds/tixing, https://archiveofourown.org/users/withxiulay/pseuds/withxiulay
Summary: Prompt 53: The sea has always been feared and prohibited, but 10-year-old Minseok has always found solace in the calm waves and the wide blue eyes that peer up at him from under the water.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: Mentions of death, bullying, depression, eating disorder, references to suicide, mentions of blood
> 
> Author/s Notes: to the prompter, thank you for your darling prompt, it was so sweet, so much so that I decided to just use it as the summary, and i have no idea if i successfully captured anything that you wanted in here. to be very honest, i had all of these avenues that i wanted to take the story, and then it kind of wrote itself in the completely opposite direction than i anticipated. Looking at the warnings, like shit, i’m so sorry i didn’t stick in your preferred rating! this whole fic feels so sad. i also drew a lot of inspiration for this from different pop culture references, and may or may not have stolen aspects of different lore and mythology from a bunch of places and hashed them all together, so if something sounds familiar, then it probably is.

 

> Take me and soak me in cold water overnight  
>  Fine tooth comb my soul after sunrise  
>  Make me a medicine of laughter and alcohol  
>  Benumbed by life  
>  Landlocked  
>  —Tapiwa Mugabe, _Zimbabwe_

  
minseok grows up an only child with three rules impressed onto him:

1\. never visit the open beach,  
2\. never stay out after dark,  
3\. never go into the water.

three simple rules, created to keep him alive, to keep him safe. easy to understand, and even easier to follow.  
minseok, however, has never been a follower.

><><

when minseok is three years old, he sees a dead boy, washed up on the beach, mangled and bloodied beyond recognition. at the time, he doesn't realise the full extent of the horror set before him, but he does feel sad at the sight of sallow, grey skin stretched over the broken body of a boy unlucky enough to be caught out in the storm that ravaged the village for nearly an entire week.

the news of the boy's death hits the town like wildfire. eventually, the town finds out that he's the only body recovered from a fishing boat lost at sea in the throes of the storm. they can only pray that he had a merciful death, though the state of his injuries doesn't lend much support to their wishes. whispers circulate the small seaside village, murmurs of the victims being foolish enough to tempt the gods, to tempt the curses laid by the elements on the small seaside town.

a heavy sorrow descends upon the townspeople—once a busy fishing village and popular holiday destination, the town withdraws into itself. the climate seems to permanently change, rain and wind frequently lashing the town and whipping the open ocean into a frenzied monster ready to kill another unwary victim if given the chance. the once sunny seaside town becomes enshrouded with permanent gloom, the sky fading into a mottled grey. on good days, clouds hang over the village, thick and heavy with the promise of rain. on bad days, the wind howls around the buildings and houses, and the town rattles as the sky moans.

the open ocean is no longer deemed safe, and only a few braver people venture out onto the estuaries that surround the area, and even then, only when the weather is somewhat calm. superstitions stir up the fear in the village, hushed tales of how a terrible monster brought the storms to the town, hungry and wanting to feed, and picking the fishing boat as its first victim that fateful day.

so minseok grows up with his parents forbidding him to go to the open beach, to always be home before dark, and to never go into the water.

he knows they mean well, knows they want to keep him safe, but he can't help but feel drawn to the ocean anyway. he wanders along the beach alone, staring out into the vast expanse of the sea, fascinated with how the water stretches so far, endlessly toward the horizon. more than one time minseok wonders what it's like to be amongst the waves during a storm, completely at the mercy of something so vast, so large. he can't swim, so he never ventures further into the water than knee-deep, but it's enough to satisfy his desires to be one with the ocean.

he's an oddball, through and through, with his ardent desire to always be amongst the waves when he should run in the opposite direction, terrified. the other children at school think he's weird enough, with his chubby cheeks and tubby stomach, so minseok never tells anyone what he thinks. he remains silent instead, content to simply sit and watch and wonder.

><><

minseok is ten when he first sees the creature.

the town's wharfs are always subdued, and many of the pontoons lie unused and abandoned. one pier in particular is minseok's favourite. it's smaller than the others, pushed to the side of the larger pontoons, a long, insignificant one pushed to the side like an afterthought. interestingly enough, it used to belong to the family of the crew that were lost at sea, though they uprooted themselves and fled the town.

recently, minseok has been frequenting what he calls 'his' dock, bringing his books with him to read or study. minseok feels like he's honouring the family by visiting their dock so often, content to sit at the end and watch the tide as it rises or falls until he has to leave. sometimes he wakes early enough to watch the sunrise peek over the mountains behind the town and wash the land with its dull light. other times he sits on the damp planks after school and just relaxes as the brightness of the day fades until he has to return home.

minseok is sitting cross-legged at the end of his pier studying one day, exercise book and calculator balanced on either knee as his open textbook rests on his jacket next to him. it hasn't rained in a week, which is unusual, but minseok is glad that this means the planks underneath him are somewhat dry and therefore can't dampen his papers.

he's absentmindedly twirling his pencil in his hands before it suddenly slips from his grasp, clatters on the wooden planks and then falls into the water with a small _plop!_ minseok scrambles to retrieve it, arm fishing in the water blindly and coming up empty. with a frustrated noise, he sinks back on his haunches, sorrowful at his loss.

abruptly, his pencil flies out of the water and lands on the dock, and minseok jumps back with a yell of fright. he stares at the water, wide-eyed with shock, unsure of what to expect. he notices the bright blue colour first before he registers that he's looking at a pair of eyes. surprised, minseok blinks as if to clear his vision, but they're still there, staring at him blankly. minseok frowns at the unnerving gaze, unable to discern the rest of whatever else the eyes belong to.

if he listened to anything his parents are always reminding him, his first thought would be about running away from the eerie sight in front of him. all he can think of, however, is how odd the eyes are, with their brilliant blue hue, an eye colour that he's unfamiliar with. as he gawps at the pair of eyes watching him, the wind starts to pick up noticeably. eventually the wind becomes strong enough that it rips up the surface of the water so much that he doesn't know if someone is actually submerged, or if his eyes are playing tricks on him.

frown deepening, minseok reaches out to wad up a piece of paper, tossing it into the water to see what the creature will do. the ball's impact is minimal, but there's a frantic splash and minseok catches a brief glimpse of a fin as the creature escapes, spooked.

><><

despite any misgivings he has, minseok goes back the next day armed with his curiosity, a whole lot of bravery, and some nurungji left over from dinner the night before. he perches at the end of the dock, wondering how best to go about his venture. does he throw the food out and see if the creature from yesterday surfaces? should he throw something else in and then feed it? does it even _like_ nurungji?

in the end, the creature decides for him, head emerging from the water and looking at minseok curiously as he sits and stews in his indecision. minseok blinks in disbelief, but slowly drops some of the nurungji into the water. the creature disappears under the water, and minseok deflates, but then the creature resurfaces, this time much closer.

it’s a boy.

well, the strangest boy minseok has ever seen. his skin is a pale, washed out tone, and atop his head sits a wet mess of black curls.

“h-hello,” minseok stutters, suddenly shy.

the boy lifts his hand and in his palm is a blob of soggy nurungji. despite his initial fear, minseok laughs, and mimes putting the food in his mouth.

“you eat it. it’s nice.”

the boy looks at minseok rather dubiously, but nevertheless gingerly takes a small bite. he has small, pointed teeth lining his mouth, and he only chews once or twice before he swallows.

he continues to nibble on the food, and minseok relaxes, pleased and happy to watch him. when the boy has finished, he swims forward and places two hands on the edge of the dock, pulling himself up cautiously while watching minseok with suspicion. minseok carefully offers the rest of the nurungji to him and stifles a giggle when the boy snatches it from his grasp and falls back into the water with a quiet splash.

“i think you like it,” minseok comments, happy. “i’m minseok. who are you?”

the boy looks at him, seemingly not understanding what he said. minseok points at his chest.

“minseok,” he says. he repeats himself slowly, “min. seok.”

the boy finishes eating and gazes at him, and minseok tries not to feel rude as he stares back. his gaze follows the lines of the boy’s face, neck and shoulders, before wandering further down. minseok’s brow furrows as he realises that the boy doesn’t appear to have any legs. he’s bobbing up and down in the water, something pale moving under him, but minseok can’t clearly see what it is.

“do you have legs?” he asks, but the boy doesn’t answer.

minseok points down to draw the boy’s attention to the lower half of his body, but the boy startles, spinning away and under the water, and he’s gone before minseok can say anything to try and stop him.

><><

trying not to be too put out at the boy’s sudden exit, and also trying to be optimistic, minseok arms himself with more food the next day and marches off to his pontoon after school. he waits for as long as possible, idly tossing small chunks into the water, but soon enough, the sun starts to set and he’s forced to return home, laden with disappointment.

he tries the next day, however, and the day after that, but still, the boy does not appear, and minseok starts to wonder if he made the whole experience up in his head.

the day after that, the boy does turn up, much to minseok’s relief. a small part of minseok clung to the hope that he’d be present, even as he readied himself to spend the afternoon alone. the sight of the boy swimming around listlessly makes a huge grin break out onto his face, and he flops down on the wood to greet the other boy happily.

“hi,” minseok says. “i didn’t know if you were going to come back.”

the boy opens his mouth and seems to speak, but all that comes out is something akin to a quiet whistling screech. minseok shakes his head, but the boy speaks again. sighing, minseok brainstorms a way to communicate with the boy.

he points to himself. “minseok,” he says, then points to the boy. “you?”

the boy’s arms echo minseok’s movement, and yes says something. minseok leans forward eagerly, trying to understand him.

"yi—xing," the boy says haltingly. he repeats himself slowly, "yixing."

minseok's eyes widen in realisation, "you're yixing?" he points at the other boy as if to confirm, " yixing?"

the boy—yixing—nods and smiles, mirroring minseok's grin. finally, he has a name to give his friend. “nice to meet you, yixing,” minseok says, liking the way the word gets squeezed through his teeth.

yixing just splashes and laughs, all wispy and musical.

><><

minseok and yixing play together after school most days after that. some days yixing doesn’t turn up, and minseok stares forlornly at the water as he attempts to study in the meantime. on the days that he does show, however, minseok gives yixing some of his lunch, and gradually finds out what the other boy likes and dislikes.

yixing has a bit of a sweet tooth, based on his fondness for the sweet things minseok’s mother packs in his lunch. yixing also enjoys nibbling on tteok, smacking his lips together as he chews with a big grin. minseok always laughs at yixing’s different reactions to the different foods, and likes trying to throw the food out as far as he can to see how fast yixing can swim after it and retrieve it.

yixing has a tail instead of legs. it trails in the water after him, long and covered in pale blue scales, and minseok itches to touch it. minseok has no idea how long it is, given it’s always buried under the water, but it looks so awesome and so cool, letting yixing shoot through the water however he likes.

he has two pelvic fins and a small dorsal fin running along the length of his spine, all the same colour as the scales of his tail. his fingers are long and pale, almost spidery, with thin webbing branching between them, and his ears are small and pointed. minseok thinks he’s very pretty, and tells him this, but yixing doesn’t know what he’s saying.

so minseok resolves to try and teach yixing how to speak korean. he points to different objects and names them, trying to get yixing to echo him. at first he thought it was a somewhat fruitless venture, but knowing that yixing told him his name gives minseok enough confidence to believe that yixing will be able to speak other words as well.

“water,” he says, dipping his fingers into it and splashing yixing.

the merboy laughs and splashes back, and says, water, in that soft voice of his. so far they’ve learnt how to count to ten, how to introduce themselves, and a few simple colours.

minseok nods and continues. “shoe,” he says, extending his foot over the edge of the pontoon and wiggling it.

yixing pokes it and scrunches his nose up, “syoo.” he curls his hand over minseok’s ankle and then lifts his tail up so minseok can see his caudal fin. he says, “syoo.”

minseok laughs and shakes his head. he corrects yixing, “tail.”

“syoo?” yixing says, confused, and minseok purses his lips, unsure of how to make him understand.  
“fin,” he says. “fin. shoe. fin. shoe.”

yixing nods, face twisted in concentration. he tugs minseok’s leg, “shoe.” he lifts his tail and wiggles his lunate fins. “fin,” he calls them, and minseok claps.

“yes! good, yixing!”

yixing laughs and does a somersault and splashes water up at minseok in the process. minseok squeals and splashes him back, before surging forward onto the next word.

><><

before long, a whole year flies by. minseok throws off the isolation and loneliness he experiences at school by spending his free time with yixing instead. the longer they spend together, the more yixing learns about the human world, and the more minseok learns about life in the ocean.

yixing eventually learns enough korean to be able to hold a solid conversation, and it opens up a whole new world of ways to spend time together. minseok tells yixing about his day, and yixing nods and hums in the right places, and then tells minseok about the dolphins he swam with, chasing them around and meeting their calves.

yixing tells minseok how he wants to walk on the land _because you have two legs_ , and _isn’t that so cool?_ minseok wholeheartedly disagrees, and wishes to trade his legs for a tail instead so he can swim instead and spend more time with yixing.

yixing has been sent to these waters as part of a peace treaty between his homeland and the kingdom of the oceans surrounding minseok’s home. he stays with the royal family as their ward, and they raise him as their own, though he’s allowed to shirk a few royal duties given he’s not in line for the throne any time soon in the next few hundred years. that honour is bestowed to the oldest of the two princes of the royal family, the younger being yixing’s closest friend.

yixing tells minseok he wants him to visit his home one day, and meet his family and his friends. minseok’s heart squeezes at the thought, both in anticipation and anxiety. of course yixing would have other friends, other people he spends time with, because minseok only ever sees him for a couple of hours every second or third day, and minseok should be the same, should have other friends, but he doesn’t.

he doesn’t know how to talk to anyone without being scared of rejection, or of scaring them off, and he worries that he’ll do the same to yixing one day if he’s not careful. yixing seems to enjoy his presence enough, anyway, judging by the sheer amount of time he manages to spend with minseok, even though it takes him about half an hour to get from his home to the inlet that minseok’s town overlooks.

on minseok’s eleventh birthday, yixing eagerly eats the sweet tteok minseok shares with him, and then presents minseok with a small pearl, attached to a thin golden chain. minseok is beyond elated at the gift, immediately putting it on and tucking it under his shirt so the pearl rests just below the dip of his collarbones.

when he asks when yixing’s birthday is, the merboy tells him they don’t celebrate birthdays, which minseok finds absurd. he decides to find something to give yixing anyway, the next day when he sees him, but yixing doesn’t come at all.

minseok tries to not let the disappointment weigh him down too much, but he does feel sad, brooding in his bed later that night wondering why he didn’t show.

he’s not there the next day, or the day after that, or the day after that, and it makes minseok worry. weeks pass, and minseok gradually concedes to the fact that his friend is no longer around. the loss of his first friend hurts him more than he could ever have anticipated, and he wonders what happened to him. did he get in trouble somewhere? did he tire of minseok’s presence?

they’re all questions he doesn’t get the answers to, and the lack of closure makes it harder to just let the sudden absence of yixing go.

><><

years pass.

the town still lives in fear of the open ocean, and minseok still lives by his three simple rules. he begins high school, and gradually pulls away from the sea. he rarely visits the beach, too busy studying at home, holed up in his room, scribbling away furiously to distract himself.

he’s lost weight recently, much to his own relief, but he still gets picked on at school, and he can’t fathom why. he reasons that he must not be slim enough yet, and resolves to try harder to not be so pudgy. his mother notices and starts trying to ply him with more food, which, well, _no_ , that’s not helping him at all, so he pushes it away and focuses on his studies even more.

some of the boys at school laugh at him and poke his cheeks and call him _mandu_ , and if minseok tries to pretend that they’re only joking, their jeering doesn’t help him convince himself. he ends up telling his parents, who talk to his principal and try to resolve the issue, but it just ends up with more backlash. the boys follow minseok home, calling him names and threatening to beat him up, and minseok tries to shake them off, tries to keep his head down and keep himself safe.

he stops asking his parents for help, and he pours all of his misery into his studies instead, and tries to keep smiling. he excels in his academics, frequently topping his classes and making his parents proud, and yet on the social scene, he’s a complete pariah, shut out and excluded.

on most days, minseok manages to block everything out, and the rare occasion, he finds himself back on his dock, staring at the water bleakly as he fingers the pearl around his neck, wondering if yixing was ever real, or if he was only a figment of his imagination, just like his happiness.

><><

minseok tries to kill himself when he's seventeen.

when he thinks about how he wants to die, he wonders what would be easiest, what would be effective but quick, quick enough that he can't alert anyone until it's too late. it makes sense, he thinks, as he wades through knee-high grass on the way to the beach, to die in the one place he likes. he used to love the sea, yearning to be inside it. ironic how the first time he'll finally be in its arms will also be the only time.

the clouds gather ominously overhead as minseok trudges up and down the beach, stopping every now and then to inspect an interesting pebble or stone or shell. he pockets each one either way, gradually adding to the piles in his trousers before he's forced to find more space in his jacket pockets. before long, he can hardly walk - funny how things may seem small and unimportant at first, but given enough time, can amass into something a lot stronger and meaningful. minseok angrily wipes his eyes when they start to prickle - he's used to it by now, used to the slurs thrown at him and the isolation that comes with the bullying, and it still fucking hurts.

minseok's stalling by listening to his own thoughts. his parents will find the letter he left for them when they wake up soon. minseok pushes them out of his mind—they won't understand, but maybe they will be sad, and maybe that will be enough.

one foot in front of the other. that's all there is to it, really. his legs are heavy with the burden of all that he's collected, but god, it's nothing compared to the past couple of years.

he's crying again. the water is up to his thighs now. it's cold and black, swirling with discoloured foam, waves curling around him as he pushes through. the first big wave nearly knocks him over, and then he’s hit by a second, a third. somehow he makes it out past the breakers, and the water is up to his neck, its cold fingers wrapped around his hands, his shoulders, his throat.

he’s underwater before he knows it, black water churning around him, nothing to see except for darkness and blurred snatches of light. _this is it_ , he thinks, and feels a little giddy, feels a little sick. he can’t swim, but that’s of no use anyway, considering he’s weighed down enough to prevent him from floating to the surface. his lungs start to burn, starved as they are, and without thinking, he tries to suck in a breath. the first splash of seawater against the back of his throat has him choking, eyes stinging, and he panics.

there’s a brief moment when he second guesses himself—is this what he really wants? solutions throw themselves at him, desperate attempts to make him reconsider his choice, but it’s too late, he thinks helplessly, mouth open on a silent scream. he’s going to die, and everything he wants to do will never happen—

something cold and slippery slides over the back of his neck and minseok shrieks dizzily—surely a monster has come to end him, the monster, the one that came to this place all those years ago with its bad omens and misfortune and killed that boy and his crew.

minseok blacks out with the memory of claws tearing at his clothes in search for his skin.

><><

heaven is bright, minseok surmises, based on the way the light is hitting his closed eyelids mercilessly. heaven is bright and white, and it’s also cold.

and wet.

minseok opens his eyes with a frown, shutting them immediately when the brightness hits them harshly. he groans and rolls onto his side, hand landing on damp sand—what? his eyes flutter open again and take in the handful of sand crumbling between his fingers. he can hear waves crashing nearby, and gulls squawking from somewhere above him.

he chokes on a sob, frightened at the familiarity of the environment, and then he gingerly sits up to take in his surroundings. he’s on the beach, his _home_ beach, and _oh god_ , he’s alive, isn’t he? his stomach roils, upset, and he’s on his hands and knees throwing up what feels like the entire ocean for a few minutes.

when he feels stable enough to not want to vomit in the next five minutes, he looks down at himself—his clothes have been shredded, hanging limply on his frame, torn and empty. his stomach gives another threatening lurch and he clutches his belly with a feeble moan. on closer inspection, he finds himself—apart from the state of his clothes—otherwise unharmed.

he's alive.

and apparently, also very well.

the thought is both a relief and a curse, and he flops onto his back again, staring bleakly at the sky and feeling empty. he knows he needs to go to his house and change his clothes and pull his waterlogged self together, but he doesn’t want to just yet. he’s so tired and lethargic, and the sand is so comfortable. he wants to lie there forever and let the tide rise up and wash him out to sea.

eventually, though, he summons the will to get up and take himself off the beach. he stands on shaky legs and turns, homeward bound.

><><

minseok doesn’t go the beach again after that.

the thought of trying again bounces around in the back of his mind, but minseok manages to ignore it. instead, he starts visiting his dock again, studying on the sun-bleached planks and feeling very old as nostalgia washes over him.

one day, minseok's lying on his front, one hand in the water, making lazy circles. he likes watching the water drop off his fingers and make ripples on the surface, finds it calming and therapeutic. something nibbles his finger and he starts in surprise.

curiosity piqued, he lets his hand descend further into the water, wondering what the hell is wrong with him to willingly subject himself to whatever creature is lurking underneath. before long, he's leaning down, watching the water soak the cuff of his sleeve, creeping up the material and darkening it.

it's only inevitable that he becomes overbalance and falls in.

he nearly panics, but suddenly arms wrap around him and he's hauled upwards before he can fully register what is happening. he's dumped in a soggy heap up on the dock, and when he clears the water from his eyes, his gaze lands on his rescuer.

it's a boy.

it’s _yixing_.

“what the fuck?” minseok swears in disbelief, but no, that’s still yixing in front of him, frowning and hissing.

“minseok,” he says, and the other boy shivers at hearing his name from yixing’s lips for the first time in years. “what are you doing?”

minseok bristles at the accusatory tone in yixing’s voice, “i felt something in the water.”

“but you can’t swim.”

minseok’s eyes are watering before he can help it, “i know.”

he’s torn between scooping yixing into a hug or screaming at him and demanding to know where he’s been for the past six years. instead, he hears yixing’s forlorn sigh and crumples into himself. yixing’s eyes rake over minseok’s body critically, and he shifts uncomfortably, disliking the appraisal.

“you need to eat,” yixing says softly.

“no,” minseok disagrees fervently. “i don’t.”

yixing stares at him, eyes just as blue as minseok remembers, and something swoops low in his stomach. he’s still struggling to adjust to the sound of yixing’s speech, his voice practised and clear, and deeper than his younger self. he looks so similar, yet is obviously older. his hair is thicker, longer, and his bones more pronounced than before, his face having lost the chubbiness of his youth. pale blue scales run along the back of his arms, and he’s developed thin pectoral fins on his forearms, though they appear to be more for decoration than actual function.

he’s actually quite stunning, and minseok bites his lip to stop himself from blurting out something stupid like, _you look really good_.

“i thought you died,” he says instead, finally voicing the terrible thought that he’s had for years but refused to acknowledge.

yixing opens his mouth, and then shuts it with a click. he eventually says, “i went away.”

“yeah, i see that now,” minseok says, throat working around the bitterness and melancholy.

“minseok,” yixing says, reaching for him, and minseok flinches away.

“you didn’t say goodbye.”

yixing’s obviously hurt by minseok’s withdrawal, “i didn’t have time. i was called away. my mother passed on.”

that makes minseok feel rather horrible and unfair. “i didn’t know. i’m sorry.”

“you couldn’t have known,” yixing said. “i couldn’t tell you. and i couldn’t leave. i had to rule in her stead.” his eyes fall on minseok’s chest, and when minseok looks down, he sees his chain has landed on the outside of his shirt and is dripping onto the dock. “you kept it,” yixing murmurs.

minseok grips it defensively, “it…” _reminded me of you? helped me remember that you were real?_ “i liked it.”

“that’s good. i’m...glad.”

they descend into an uncomfortable silence, spent with yixing looking at him and trying to catch his eye, while minseok studiously avoids it. he wants to know why yixing has returned after so long, and he wants to know if they’re still friends. he hasn’t seen the merboy in so long that he doesn’t feel at ease around him anymore, something that he misses.

after a while, yixing sighs and kicks out from the dock into deeper water. “i’ll go then.”

minseok’s heart leaps into his throat, and before he can filter his words, he says, “will i see you again?”

“of course,” yixing says immediately. “i’m here to stay.”

the small smile he offers makes minseok’s chest squeeze in excitement and relief, and then yixing is gone.

><><

the next time minseok sees yixing, it’s a week later, and he’s almost convinced himself yet again that he imagined the whole reunion. however, there he is waiting at the end of the pier when minseok arrives, and he’s not alone.

another merboy is with him, his appearance sharing yixing’s bleached skin and black hair. his eyes are a pale yellow, making his gaze harsh and cold, and minseok recoils slightly.

“hello?” he says, unsure.

“this is baekhyun,” yixing introduces the other merboy quietly. after a beat, he adds, “he wanted to meet you.”

yixing's companion swims closer to the dock, pale eyes squinting at minseok suspiciously. minseok feels torn between feeling frightened and fascinated by baekhyun’s approach, but doesn't move. baekhyun raises himself out of the water, and then a wet hand is slipping over the wood of the pontoon, towards minseok. his skin is awfully cold, a trail of gooseflesh following the path his hand makes as it wraps around minseok's wrist. his arm is halfway in the water before he even realises, his gaze locked with the merboy's pale eyes, and he lets baekhyun pull him down without resisting.

the spell is abruptly broken when yixing hisses, loud and sharp, and his companion retracts his hand like he's been burnt, hissing defensively.

yixing shoots in between the pair, one hand curled over the edge of the dock as he speaks angrily. as the two fight, the water darkens, and minseok shivers as the wind starts to pick up. something unpleasant curls in minseok's gut—disappointment at the interruption, guilt at still having the muted desire to drown lingering inside him, and longing at the desire to swim instead.

"yixing," he says, interrupting the merboy, who stops to turn questioningly. "it's okay. it's fine."

yixing blinks at him, and then baekhyun says something that makes yixing turn and snap at him again. his companion glares, jaw set, before swimming closer and folding his hand over the one yixing has on the dock. his gentle prying of yixing's hand off the wood into his grasp is a stark contrast to the deep set frown on his face, and minseok's brow crinkles in confusion. baekhyun’s speaking to yixing again, voice a soft murmur, and minseok watches the pair, feeling very much like an outsider spying on a private conversation that he shouldn't be witnessing.

"i have to go," yixing addresses minseok, pointing away, out to sea, and minseok nods, gut twisting anxiously.

the other merboy says something, and yixing snaps again in warning. baekhyun merely rolls his eyes, flips backwards and disappears underwater, and yixing shrieks in indignation before following with a bodily splash.

><><

baekhyun isn’t with yixing the next time he visits, _busy with his princely duties_ , yixing laughs, and apologises about baekhyun’s behaviour.

“it’s fine, really,” minseok says dismissively, trying to figure out where he went wrong in one of his calculations.

“no it’s not,” yixing says. “he tried to drown you.”

“should have tried harder,” minseok snorts, crossing out the error and filling in the correct numbers.

“minseok...” yixing sighs in a sad voice.

“he _should_ have,” minseok breathes, half-joking and half-serious. he looks up into yixing’s stare and his voice catches.

“i’m glad he didn’t,” yixing counters, sincere, and minseok has a small smile fixed on his face for the rest of the afternoon.

they settle into a tentative rhythm after that. minseok starts going back to the wharfs and more often than not, yixing is already there, waiting under the surface until minseok splashes the water to let him know he’s arrived. minseok spends most of his time leafing through his books and offering distracted conversation to yixing at the same time. yixing asks him about what he’s studying and how he can help, and happily watches him silently, chin resting on his forearms that are folded over the edge of the dock, tail floating lazily in the water behind him.

baekhyun tags along at times, yixing playing translator between him and minseok, and once minseok gets over his initial shock that baekhyun tried to kill him, he accepts the merboy and even starts to get along with him. baekhyun is always smiling, saying things that make yixing laugh, and while it’s nice to see yixing happy, minseok knows—and stubbornly refuses to talk to himself about—exactly what that bitter feeling is that curls up inside him every time baekhyun is around.

baekhyun is charming and picks up the human language relatively quickly, eyes sparkling as he props himself up on the dock and tries to talk to minseok. he humours baekhyun, at first to be nice, and gradually because he genuinely likes him.

baekhyun switches between korean and mer all the time, and minseok has a hard time keeping up, his words flowing like running water bubbling in a stream.

one day yixing’s face is tinged with blue when he surfaces, and baekhyun is grinning as he joins, waving at minseok enthusiastically and asking minseok how his day has been.

“good? i guess.” he doesn’t mention the boys who kept throwing spit balls at him in class, or the blind eye his teacher turned on their actions.

instead, minseok reaches out to poke yixing’s cheek, entranced as blue bursts out over yixing’s skin from where he’s touched him. baekhyun laughs as yixing goes even bluer, and minseok’s eyes widen in alarm.

“what’s wrong?”

“nothing,” yixing mumbles, reaching out blindly to swat at baekhyun, who’s cackling to the side.

“yah,” baekhyun blinks up at minseok prettily. “again.” he pokes his own cheek. “again?”

minseok gives a half-smile, confused, yet curious, and brushes his knuckles over yixing’s face, bright blue following the path of his hand as it skates over his skin. baekhyun giggles again, and yixing murmurs something that makes baekhyun laugh harder.

“i’m missing something,” minseok admits, and baekhyun shakes his head.

“it’s okay. okay?”

yixing splashes him rudely, and baekhyun splutters in indignation. he jumps onto yixing, ducking him underwater, and minseok chuckles as he watches the two of them flail in the water. his otherwise dull day is immediately brightened by their playfulness, and not for the first time he wishes he could join in, swimming off into the night, away from all of his human problems and into the brighter, unknown future.

><><

“how come you can’t swim?” yixing asks him a few weeks later.

“i don’t know how,” minseok shrugs.

“but why not?” yixing presses, puzzled. it makes sense—he’s grown up swimming, and therefore wouldn’t understand how anyone could _not_ know how to do something that comes to him as easily as breathing.

“i told you, i don’t know.” minseok abandons his book and swings his legs over the dock. “it’s like me asking you why you can’t walk.”

“i could though,” yixing says, and minseok scoffs.

“you don’t have legs, silly.”

“i can transform,” yixing points out, and minseok’s breath hitches. numerous possibilities take shape in his head without his permission, of future scenarios where yixing walks around on—what, legs? two legs, then, however that is possible—yixing accompanying minseok places and minseok feeling _normal_.

“how can you transform?” minseok asks dubiously.

“all of us can. i’ve only done it once before, but i didn’t know how to walk.”  
minseok finds yixing’s confession disgustingly endearing, and he tamps down the rush of affection by laughing out loud. “amazing.”  
yixing grins, all rugged and charming, and minseok’s heart kicks against his ribcage. “you should just teach me. i can teach you how to swim. and then you won’t always sink.”

“i’m heavy from the weight of all my worries,” minseok jokes and yixing hits him lightly.

“stop that,” he says, before folding his arms over minseok’s knees, and minseok focuses very hard on breathing as yixing maintains eye contact with him.

yixing prises minseok’s knees apart, slotting in between them and raising himself up so he can wrap his arms around minseok’s waist. minseok stares at him, slightly nervous (and perhaps freaking about their close proximity) and then yixing gently eases minseok into the water, still keeping hold of him.

minseok takes in everything—the water lapping at his neck, the lazy beat of yixing’s tail moving against his legs—and finds himself laughing, delighted. yixing joins in, swimming them further out, watching minseok carefully for his reactions.

“okay?” he asks, and minseok nods.

he kicks his feet in a feeble attempt to help yixing as they swim, and the merboy grins encouragingly. yixing swims around in wide circles for a while, until minseok points down as if to say, _can we go under the water instead?_ yixing’s smile gets even broader, and he tightens his grasp around minseok before submerging them.

the water is a murky green, small flecks rushing up to meet minseok as they move through at yixing’s unhurried pace. yixing swims down, down, down to the bottom, where several schools of fish mill about. he sees a stingray covering itself in sand and burying itself, and small crabs scuttling over rocks, blinking at the passing pair.

yixing races them up to the surface just when minseok thinks his lungs are about to burst. he sucks in great big lungfuls of air when they emerge, laughing breathlessly and eagerly trying to prompt yixing to take them below again.

“okay?” yixing asks again, and minseok nods excitedly.

“that was so cool,” he gushes, and yixing chuckles.

he holds minseok out at arm's length, nodding towards him. “legs,” he says, reaching down to poke minseok’s knee.

minseok catches on and kicks, and yixing laughs. he removes one arm and lets minseok adjust, nodding as minseok’s arms move about in the water to help him stay afloat. eventually, minseok figures to move his arms and legs so that he’s pushing the water down and keeping himself up.

“look!” yixing cheers, and minseok looks down to where yixing’s hand is no longer tucked under his arm, but hovering around instead, offering a safety blanket if needed.

“yixing!” minseok says, “yixing, i’m swimming!”

yixing swoops in and minseok barely has time to grab a breath before yixing spins them down through the water again, tail beating fiercely and propelling them through the water at frightful speed. minseok bubbles out a laugh, giddily ecstatic, and holds on for dear life.

><><

six months after their reunion, minseok wanders along the open beach, killing time before he needs to return home. a loud screech catches his attention, and when he looks out to sea, he sights baekhyun waving frantically at him, as well as yixing floating low in the water.

"yixing!" minseok cries, splashing into the black water and whimpering at the sight of yixing's blood leaking into the ocean. "yixing," he breathes, hands shaking as he desperately tries to think of how he can get yixing to shore without causing him further pain.

yixing moans, dragging himself on his front toward the beach, his groans turning reedy in pitch. minseok grips yixing to him, turning to baekhyun to ask, "what happened? what happened to him?"

the other merboy doesn't know enough words to explain everything to him, but he points to the water and speaks anyway, letting loose a long run of syllables that minseok can’t piece together. minseok stumbles as a wave knocks him over and he lands on his elbow jarringly, grunting in pain.

minseok frowns, remembering that pressure can stop bleeding. he finds where yixing appears to be bleeding the most, under his ribs, and covers the wound without a second thought, pressing down firmly. yixing hisses, his breathing becoming rapid and panicked, and minseok shushes him, tries to explain his actions.

“shh, i’m sorry,” minseok says, heart pounding, feeling absolutely sick with worry. “i’m sorry, i’m trying to help.”

yixing's blood is bright blue as it squeezes through the gaps between minseok's fingers, but he just draws in a shuddering breath and covers minseok's hand with his own. the bleeding isn’t stopping, and minseok, short of pressing down further and cutting off all circulation, has no idea how to help.

yixing struggles to draw in another breath, whimpering as he does, and a fresh pulse of blood flows out of the wound, bubbling up under his fingers. minseok watches him open his mouth, and then he’s singing haltingly, voice quiet and pained. nothing happens for a long while, baekhyun grabbing yixing’s free hand and nearly getting the life squeezed out of it as yixing tries to sing through the pain. finally, minseok watches as yixing’s skin crawls back together slowly, the edges of his gaping wound becoming smaller and smaller.

“what the…?” minseok says, though he doesn’t receive an explanation.

“fishing accident,” yixing eventually wheezes, voice whistling through his teeth. “and i can stop this. _ughhh_.” he pastes on a ghost of a smile, all rugged and charming even as he looks seconds from death, “don’t worry, minseok.”

behind them, baekhyun snorts, then speaks to yixing in rapid-fire mer. minseok waits for the weather to change, and sure enough, it starts drizzling on them. he’s gathered over time that baekhyun and yixing have some influence on the elements, as it usually starts to rain if baekhyun ever gets agitated or excited.

yixing once explained that it was the gift of baekhyun’s people that enabled this, that they had a high affinity with rain, a property strengthened by his royal blood. when minseok had asked, somewhat naively, if yixing had any powers, yixing had only offered a tiny smile in response.

he’d curled the wind through minseok’s hair gently to answer minseok’s question, and floated a small green sea flower onto the dock next to minseok’s shoe. minseok had grinned and taken it home with him, sitting it in a glass of water lined with pebbles and shells.

yixing answers baekhyun’s endless speech with a tired voice. he tells minseok, “i thought one of the people on the vessel was you.”

baekhyun throws his hands up in the air and the rain falls more heavily, blanketing the beach in a heavy downpour that minseok tries to see through. “stupid,” he says to minseok. “ _stupid_.”

“but...why come into shore if you could just heal yourself out there?” minseok asks, staring out at the waves.

“nothing to hold onto,” yixing shrugs. “except baekhyun. and he kept telling me off for swimming so close and getting speared.”

minseok laughs, slightly hysterical, because he feels like he’s getting the tame story of baekhyun’s scolding. baekhyun is always giving yixing a piece of his mind, even though yixing is the older of the two.

“plus,” yixing says carefully. “i wanted to see you.”

minseok swallows his elated grin and only lets a small one surface. “oh good,” he jokes, but it’s flat, stretched thin with his anxiety.

yixing says something to baekhyun, who leans down to squeeze yixing in a cautious hug, nosing his cheek before dragging himself to the water and swimming off. when minseok asks where he’s going, yixing tells him baekhyun is going home to tell his parents what happened

“i’m sorry,” minseok says, guilty.

“it’s not your fault,” yixing says. “it’s okay.”

“it feels like it is. if you hadn’t met me, then you wouldn’t have thought that person was me, and you wouldn’t have gotten hurt and nearly bled out and—” minseok’s words get trapped and he cuts off with a thick sob.

“minseok...” yixing says, eyes all sad and voice heavy.

“i’m sorry, i was so scared, i wish this hadn’t had happened,” minseok ploughs on.

“it’s okay,” yixing tries to reassure him, but minseok shakes his head, eyes smarting.

“i thought—i thought you were going to run out of blood and i didn’t know how to help, and i just. you mean so much to me, and if you were never around anymore, i—i don’t know how to live like that, i don’t _want_ that to happen, even if—even if you don’t want me, i always do.” it’s so much like a confession that minseok doesn’t stop himself from saying, “i always miss you when you go.”

yixing reaches up slowly to cradle minseok’s face in his hands, “it’s okay.”

“it’s not, i don’t deserve this,” minseok keeps shaking his head, years of rejection and anxiety piling up on one another, “i don’t deserve all the time you give me.”

“that’s not true,” yixing says firmly. he swallows thickly, “i always wish i could give you more.”

minseok's crying now, hot tears sliding over his cheeks and getting caught on yixing's fingers as he wipes them away with shushing noises. "i love you," he cries, and yixing nods, rubs arcs over minseok's cheekbones soothingly.

"minseok," he says, and minseok exhales shakily, eyes falling closed. " _minseok_ ," yixing says with more conviction. "please?"

"yes," says minseok, because _yes, yixing, anything_ —he would follow yixing to the end of the earth if the merboy asked.

" _minseok_ ," yixing whispers, earnest and reverent.

yixing's hands grip minseok's face more firmly, pull him down, and then his lips are cold and wet against minseok's mouth. yixing greedily swallows the gasp minseok lets loose, drawing all the warmth out of minseok's body through their embrace, cool lips closing over minseok's so softly, yet so demanding, over and over and over again, and minseok lets himself drown in him.

><><

_ten years later_

minseok leans back on his hands, listening to the waves crashing on the shore and watching the foam catch the moonlight. the past ten years have been a rollercoaster of a ride, a blur of finishing school, graduating from university, settling into a graduate position and then climbing his way through the ranks to the executive board of his green energy company.

he’d spent the last few months of high school dreading the inevitable separation from yixing after his graduation, and yet yixing had simply kissed him sweetly, revealed that he would follow minseok wherever the other boy wished. minseok had moved away to college, and yixing had indeed followed, taking up residence in the university’s lake, taking the four years of minseok’s degree to adapt to living both on land and in the water, learning to read and write and work, while also leaving to return home when needed.

five more years down the track, and here he was, lazing about on the sand in front of their beachside villa, waiting for his husband to join him upon his return from work.

“found you,” comes a quiet voice, and minseok smiles, turning to the sound of yixing’s approach.

yixing sits down next to him, leaning in to press a short kiss to his forehead. minseok deems the action not good enough, and steals a soft kiss, one that yixing immediately deepens, and minseok chuckles at his eagerness.

“ready?” he asks, and minseok nods. they’re visiting baekhyun tonight, and while minseok can swim far better than he used to, yixing’s still far superior. yixing strips off his clothes, smirking at minseok’s lingering gaze, before reaching for minseok’s hands and leading him toward the ocean.

they wade out through the surf until yixing drops to his knees and transforms, legs fusing together to form his beautiful blue tail that minseok loves. years spent watching yixing transform back and forth from his human and mer forms, and it still fascinates him.

yixing pulls minseok close and kisses him, and while minseok knows it’s just for show—knows he doesn’t need any more kisses to let him breathe underwater since the first one yixing gave him all that time ago, on the beach as he bled out under minseok’s hands—he lets yixing press his hungry embrace onto his lips, arms holding on tight as yixing breaks away and winks, before flying them through the water toward their destination.

he’s breaking every single one of his rules that he grew up with, has been for the past ten years, and he couldn’t care less. he may live at a different beach, and he may no longer live with his parents, and he may be throwing the principles he grew up with out of the metaphorical window, but he’s still alive, and he’s still safe.

most importantly—and it’s something he’s worked on for the past few years—he’s finally happy; happy with his life, and with yixing, and finally with himself.

**Author's Note:**

> ao3 formatting can kiss my ass, this was such a pain to format omg


End file.
